How to support someone through pet bereavement
When someone close to you is mourning a pet, it can be hard to know how to help. This page offers simple, thoughtful ways to support someone who’s grieving, including what to say (and what not to), how to be there, and when to give space. Your support matters.
Unprocessed grief can sit with people for years.
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When help is hard to find
Grieving a pet can be overwhelming – emotionally and physically. Sadly, more than half of pet owners* couldn’t find the support they needed. Your friend, partner, family member or colleague might be feeling heartbroken, numb or isolated. Understanding the depth of the pet/owner bond helps you show up for them in the right way.
I got more support from strangers in pet loss Facebook groups than from people in my life.
28%
of pet owners took no time off to grieve*
26%
struggled to mark their loss*
28%
didn't know where to turn*
What can you do to support someone grieving a pet?
When grief is ignored, it can become even harder to bear – especially if someone feels they have to hide it. Your support, however small, can make all the difference. “Our vet was lovely and sent a handwritten condolence card,” said one pet owner. “That really helped.”
Pet bereavement therapist Andy recommends keeping things simple.
- Acknowledge the loss. “I’m so sorry” goes a long way.
- Listen and ask gentle questions.
- Use their pet’s name. It keeps their memory close.
- Offer practical help – a meal, a lift, a walk – whatever eases the load.
- Respect when they need space – and don’t take it personally.
What to say when someone’s pet dies
It can feel awkward knowing what to say, but a kind word really does help.
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. [Pet’s name] was lucky to have you.”
- “I know how much they meant to you, and how much you meant to them.”
- “Take all the time you need. I’m here when you want to talk.”
- “Would you like to share a favourite memory of them?”
If you’re a partner or close friend
Offer to be around for hugs, distractions, or silent company. Let them grieve in their own way.
If you’re a colleague or manager
Send a message acknowledging the loss. Ask what they need – a little flexibility or just space to be off that day.
If you're supporting a child
Let them talk about their feelings freely. Keep language simple and honest. Avoid euphemisms like “gone away” or “they’ve gone to a better place” – it can cause confusion.
What not to say when someone’s pet dies
It’s natural to worry about saying the wrong thing. Avoid these things.
- “At least it was just a dog/cat.”
- This belittles their grief. They didn’t lose a pet – they lost their companion.
- “You can always get another one.”
- Pets aren’t replaceable. Each bond is unique.
- “They had a good innings.”
- While well-meant, this can shut down the person’s real pain.
- “I know how you feel.”
- Unless they ask, focus on them – not your story.
Instead, try:
“I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, but I’m here if you want to talk.”
How to help children through pet loss
For many children, losing a pet is their first experience of death. The way you support them can help shape how they deal with grief in the future. Be honest and open. Andy suggests involving children in gentle, meaningful ways to remember their pet, like drawing pictures, planting something, or revisiting favourite walks. Personal rituals can help maintain connection in a healthy way.
How to help a child prepare for pet loss
Explain what’s happening in simple terms. Let them ask questions. Younger children may not understand death is permanent, while older kids may need space to talk through big emotions. Involve them in goodbyes in an age-appropriate way.
How to tell a child that their pet has died?
Be clear and kind. Say, “I have some sad news – [pet’s name] has died.” Avoid confusing phrases like “gone away” or “put to sleep.” Give them time to respond. Let them know it’s okay to cry or be quiet – there’s no ‘right’ reaction.
How to help a child through the grief of losing a pet
Andy recommends adapting the ‘Fact – Feel – Want’ approach for children, which gently validates their experience: “You might say: ‘Our dog’s death has really upset us, and I can see it’s upset you too. We can talk about it anytime you want.’” This acknowledges the loss, encourages emotional openness, and gives the child permission to process their grief in their own time.
Do pets grieve?
Grief doesn’t just affect humans. Many pets show signs of sadness, confusion or distress after losing a companion. Watch for changes in behaviour, appetite or mood – and seek advice from your vet. Explore more in our Do pets grieve? page.
*Based on the results of the RSPCA Pet Grief Survey 2025