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Please note that this story contains descriptions of dog illness and euthanasia.
Susan on the loss of her dog, Ebony
Susan’s Labrador, Ebony, was more than a pet. For over 14 years, she was a loyal companion, a colleague, a travel buddy, and part of the fabric of Susan’s daily life. “She had a huge personality – bold, confident, devoted, and comical,” Susan remembers.
Susan got Ebony as an eight-week-old puppy following the sudden, devastating loss of Polly, her previous dog. “Polly died from a ruptured tumour – it was a complete bolt out of the blue. I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Ebony became a new beginning.
She had a huge personality – bold, confident, devoted, and comical.
A sudden decline
Ebony had lived a full, active life, with no signs of illness until the day she died. “She was sick in the afternoon and by the evening she was a lead weight. Initially, I thought it was just an upset stomach and went to my yoga class. I still regret that.”
At the vet’s, Susan was told they could either euthanase Ebony straight away or keep her comfortable overnight. “I couldn’t make that call without knowing what was going on for sure – for my own mental health. I needed to know I’d done everything I could.”
The next morning, scans revealed fluid inside Ebony’s body, with only a slim chance of survival. Susan agreed to exploratory surgery to confirm the cause. “I went into flowchart mode – ticking off all the options. That was the only way I could cope.”
Once it was confirmed that a tumour had ruptured a bile duct, Susan gave the vet permission to let Ebony go. Her final memory is of Ebony’s sweet head tilt as she watched other dogs come and go from her kennel. “I kept it short – I didn’t want her to pick up on how upset I was.”
“Talking about her keeps her close”
Susan sat in her car afterwards, speaking to her best friend for over an hour, not wanting to leave. She later sought comfort from close friends and had her first prearranged acupuncture appointment. “I told the practitioner my wrist was where I felt the most pain, and she said, ‘That’s your grief line.’”
Susan received flowers, plants and gifts from friends and colleagues, which were a great comfort and helped her through those first intense weeks. “They lasted for weeks. I pressed some of the flowers so I could keep them, as a memory of everyone’s kindness.”
Susan chose the simplest cremation option – Ebony’s ashes arrived in a cardboard postal tube and now sit on the mantelpiece. She also has a necklace made with a tiny photo and a little of Ebony’s fur. “She’s still here, in a way.”
Ebony’s belongings remain in the home. “My new dog Penny ‘borrows them’. It felt right.” Susan also made a photo book of Ebony’s life. “Talking about her keeps her close.”
“Say their name – share their story”
Susan says grief for Ebony has been different from losing her previous dog, Polly. “She was older, and this time I had the chance to say goodbye. It still hurts – but it’s less intense now.” The small absences stung: a dropped cornflake untouched, or walking upstairs alone.
She advises others to talk about their feelings and their pet. “Don’t bottle it up. Say their name. Share their story.”
Susan also stresses the importance of pet insurance. “Having insurance meant I didn’t have to think twice about treatment. I did everything I could, and I have no regrets.”
After Polly, getting Ebony helped Susan cope. After Ebony, she found a new dog called Penny – a chance encounter that felt almost meant to be. Susan hadn’t planned to adopt again so soon, but when she met Penny, something clicked. Penny turned out to be just right – energetic, adaptable, and a great match for Susan’s active lifestyle. “You don’t have to rush into it. But for me, it was about carrying on – and letting love in again.”
You don’t have to rush into it. But for me, it was about carrying on - letting love in again.