Establishing a good relationship

We all enjoy spending lots of time playing with and petting our dogs, but problems can arise if dogs become too dependent on human attention and get it 'on tap' when they are with us.

To avoid this, whilst you can spend as much time as you like interacting with your dog, if you want a well behaved and calm pet you should follow these simple rules.
 

You start all interactions with your dog

• You decide when you want to talk, pet or play with your dog – remember you are rewarding whatever your dog is doing at the time. Unless you want a dog that constantly runs off with the remote control, jumps up at you or nudges your elbow these are the behaviours to ignore. Instead teach your dog that sitting quietly is the best way to get your attention!

• Initiate interactions whenever you like, except for when your dog is demanding attention from you.

• Do not talk, pet, play or even look at your dog if he/she demands attention from you. But don’t just ignore your dog – remember that it is just as important to teach him/her what does work to get your attention!
   

You finish all interactions with your dog

• You decide when you want to stop talking, petting or playing with your dog.

• Give your dog a signal that you wish to stop, by saying a word such as “finish” or “enough” to let your dog know that you have had enough, and then ignore him/her until he/she settles down. Always use the same word, so your dog quickly learns what it means.

• When you come home only say hello if your dog is quiet. If your dog is excited or greets you over-enthusiastically, ignore him/her until he/she settles and then say hello.

If your dog is worried about something and you always respond by giving attention, he/she may become anxious when left alone. Not giving your dog attention ‘on tap’ whenever he/she asks for it will help to ensure that your dog is confident enough to handle life on his/her own when you are not in the house and not ‘available’ to give reassurance.
 

By following these rules you can make sure that all interactions with your dog are positive and consistent and at the same time this will help to ensure that your dog doesn’t become too dependent on you from the outset.

The production of this information is a result of work commissioned by the RSPCA. Acknowledgement is made to Dr Rachel Casey, Dr Emily Blackwell and Dr John Bradshaw. Read more about our Expert contributors.