Content warning
Please note that this story contains descriptions of cat illness and euthanasia, as well as the impact of pet loss on a child.
Sakura on the loss of her cat, Nelson
For 15 years Nelson was part of Sakura’s life – a big black tomcat with a white patch on his chest and bold personality. Adopted alongside another cat, Willie, Nelson had originally come from a home with 26 cats. “He was probably the dad of a good number of them,” Sakura laughs. “He was a bruiser – aloof and slightly spiky.”
But to Sakura and her husband Stuart, he was so much more than a pet. “We got him before we had kids. He was part of our little family unit – there from the very beginning. I have maternity leave memories with him, him keeping me company during those long nightfeeds. He represented so much of our relationship.”
We got him before we had kids. He was part of our little family unit – there from the very beginning.
“It all accelerated in the last year”
As he got older, Nelson developed hyperthyroidism. “It was manageable for a while, but eventually he was sleeping most of the day, struggling to jump up. Then one day he just collapsed. His back legs gave out.” After a few days of worsening symptoms, Sakura and Stuart made the decision to have Nelson put to sleep. “It happened very suddenly. It was clear he was suffering.”
It was especially hard on Stuart. “He hadn’t seen a pet euthanased before. Walking out of the vet’s without Nelson really hit him.”
Supporting children through pet loss
Their daughter Iris, who was seven at the time, found Nelson’s absence difficult. “You can talk about death, but until it happens, it’s very conceptual. It really hit home when she realised he just wasn’t in the house anymore.”
Iris’s grief showed up in bursts. “She’d say things like ‘I haven’t been sad about him for a while,’ and then feel guilty. Or we’d be talking about dinner and she’d suddenly cry – ‘I miss Nelson!’ We talked a lot about how grief isn’t something you just get over. It comes and goes.”
Looking through photos and videos helped. “I found old videos from when we first got him – before Iris was even born. She loves watching those. It blows her mind that he was here before she was.”
Sakura made sure Iris knew the grown-ups were grieving too. “I was just as sad. Her dad was too. We were all down that week – just showing it in different ways.”
For more expert guidance, read our guide to helping children through pet loss.
A new chapter
After Nelson, Sakura thought they’d take a break from having pets – but as a family of animal lovers, it didn’t last long. They began fostering, and eventually adopted Roger, a kitten with boundless energy. “He’s totally different to Nelson – but that’s the joy of animals. They’re individuals.”
Roger has brought chaos and laughter. “Kittens are like babies – messy and exhausting. But you love them. Iris loves mothering him. And my son loves having a cat who actually plays.”
Sakura believes it’s all part of the journey. “I think it’s important that kids learn the whole cycle of having pets – the love, the care, the loss. It’s not easy, but it matters. I’m proud of how the kids coped. It shows them what it means to rescue, and to give a pet the best life you can.”
Our new kitten Roger is totally different to Nelson – but that’s the joy of animals. They’re individuals.
Walk to Remember
